Although I did not believe in them back then,
I merged with God then met Jesus and Mother Mary in Heaven in 1997
I was born Catholic but my parents didn't believe in God. They agreed to send me to religious class though, at the request of my grand-mother, a very pious woman who wished for me to be able to make up my own mind about religion. My parents played along nicely by never talking about religion, not even to criticize it or point out they didn't believe in God.
I loved listening to the two ladies teaching religious class, I loved the way they spoke about God and I had no doubt God is Love and They can perform miracles. Now, one day, we kids were taught that sinners go to hell for all eternity and I couldn't believe it. I asked 'Why would a loving God send sinners to hell for all eternity?' I had no problem with sinners going to hell, just like murderers go to prison, but I couldn't believe sinners would stay in hell for all eternity. I couldn't believe God forgives us when we sin but, past a certain day somewhere in the future, They would stop forgiving sinners.
Can you imagine a soul in hell, realizing they made a mistake and imploring God to forgive them but God refusing to listen or, worse, telling them: "You're too late. You apologized just one day too late"? I have always been a practical and logical person, which didn't prevent me from believing in God and in Their ability to perform miracles, this is faith, but it didn't make any sense to me that God would, at some point, refuse to forgive anyone. It didn't feel like a matter of faith to me. It rather felt like a lack of consistency in the beliefs. This God who was supposed to suddenly stop forgiving sinners was not a God I could believe in! I hence stopped attending religious class and I also stopped believing in God.
As a matter of fact, the only Bible verse saying sinners go to hell for all eternity is Matthew 25:46 but it is a mistake: in Matthew 25:34-40, Jesus talks to the righteous and he naturally does so in the second person plural; then, in Matthew 25:41-45, Jesus addresses the unrighteous and he also naturally does so in the second person plural; now Matthew 25:46 is written in the third person plural which means it is a conclusion to Jesus' two addresses, a conclusion which is worded by someone else than Jesus, either Matthew himself or the person who first wrote Matthew's Gospel down. As for Jesus, he never said sinners would stay in hell for all Eternity and, since God is not only Love but also Justice, it makes sense that sinners will serve time in hell for a period of time relevant to their sins. Can you imagine a man coming home from work earlier than usual and finding his wife in bed with another man then, mad with rage, killing both of them staying in hell for as long as Hitler – e.g. Eternity? Of course a fair God would never want that and, again, Jesus never said or suggested all sinners would be treated with the same sentence. What Jesus did say, in Matthew 25:41, is that those on his left – the unrighteous – would be cast "into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels". It must therefore be clearly understood hell and Gehenna are two different things: 'regular' sinners go to hell but not for all Eternity and only "the devil and his angels" will be cast into Gehenna hence destroyed forever. I am adament about this: Gehenna itself is an eternal fire but the devil and his angels won't stay in it for all eternity. They will simply be incinerated as announced by Jesus in Matthew 10:28. (Many English Bible translations confuse Gehenna for hell but they are different and the Greek word used in Matthew 10:28 is "γεέννῃ", romanized as "geennē", which is only used in this verse and nowhere else throughout the Bible and there is a reason to it: as I said, hell and Gehenna are different.)
In 1997, I had a near death experience during my sleep, probably caused by a severe then untreated sleep apnea syndrome. I went through the tunnel and I saw this very bright light which doesn't hurt the eyes so many people tell about. I went up very high at an incredible speed, heard the angels sing, merged with God then met Jesus and Mother Mary.
From that day on, as you can imagine, I started believing again and I started praying at least an hour every day. Each time, Jesus would bless me with his presence. I couldn't see or hear Jesus but I could clearly feel his presence, particularly his peace. It took me many more years to start feeling his love ☺
In 2012, Shiva appeared to me and blessed me by dancing in front of me for a month each time I would close my eyes to pray, even though I was praying to Jesus and even though one of my friends could feel Jesus' presence when I was praying for him. I hence understood Shiva is a manifestation of the Absolute Jesus used to call the Father.
In September 2017, I moved to Lourdes, France, where Mother Mary appeared 18 times to Saint Bernadette in 1858, in an intent to speed up my spiritual growth – and I am glad I did because the spiritual energy is amazing here! I then started reading the Bible, which I had never done before except to a very small extent when I was a kid and, with Jesus' blessing (Luke 24:45), I understood his original teachings which are suggested in the Bible but have often been misunderstood for lack of spiritual openness.
In September 2019, Jesus appeared to me as I was walking out of Church and he requested me to bear witness to him. I did so in French at first, mainly addressing Christians, but they all failed to listen to me, even the ones I was studying the Bible with in two different Bible study groups. According to Jesus' instructions in Matthew 10:11-14, I turned my back on them and I closed my French website. I then decided to open this English website.
Although this might push away a number of Christians, I feel it is important to mention The Father and Shiva are expressions of the same unmanifested unbounded ocean of infinite Peace, Love, Bliss and Knowingness with infinite organizing power and Jesus addresses spiritual seekers of all religions and traditions in the name of Love – which doesn't mean those spiritual seekers cannot keep their cultural differences.
Jesus actually says the exact same thing in John 10:16, a verse which is widely misinterpreted by Christian preachers who make it say what they wrongly believe rather than seeing it for what it really means, explaining Jesus addresses the Jews and refers to the gentiles as the other sheep but this doesn't make any sense since Jesus is talking to the Pharisees and not all Jews were Pharisees, far from it.
It is perfectly acceptable to have a preference for a particular expression of God but it would not be right to pretend this is the only true one for there is only one Absolute, one Love, taking multiple forms. There is actually no contradiction between this insight and Jesus saying he is the Way, the Truth and the Life in John 14:6 for Jesus didn't usher those famous words as the human being he also was but as God e.g. as an embodiment of Peace and Love. What Jesus really meant is therefore that Peace and Love are the Way, the Truth and the Life. Jesus doesn't care if we sit or kneel or bow down to God when we pray and if we call Them Allah or Shiva or the Father! All Jesus cares about is how loving we are... and he only requests us to do our best, which includes having a spiritual practice allowing us to become more loving.
If this feels a little too much for you to apprehend, remember that even to the disciples who spent three years in Jesus' presence, who received his teachings almost daily and who had the opportunity to ask as many questions as they needed, Jesus said: "I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear" (John 16:12) yet nothing much has been added to Jesus' teachings ever since except Paul's fraudulent doctrine which he only started preaching less than 10 years later while some real apostles were still alive, for example Peter and James, and Paul certainly didn't teach anything they couldn't bear.
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